Beauty Blogger Bestie

I finally have a few minutes to actually

sit down and type about my awesome friend

in the United Kingdom. I can't wait to meet her

one day as she make my whole day every time I  

speak with her. I've only grown to love her more.

We exchange letters, and messages on facebook and 

now that I have had this package in my possession for 

a few weeks and have a moment i'll share with you

what amazing things I got from the UK.

So like I said I got her package quit a while ago.

I know shame on me for taking so long i'm so bad

at keeping up with blog posts it's terrible.

My beautiful friend started off with the best letter and really 

cute photo's of Hello Kitty photo's inside of which I have put on

my desk so they remind me of her every time I sit here to edit.

Here are the cute Hello Kitty things that she got me, 

I cant bare to open the chocolate kitty on a stick its way

to cute to eat (I'm hoarding it now). Really cute Hello Kitty

bracelets with little charms on them which I have added

to my collection, & this super cute Sanrio liquid liner!

Here's a look at the 'Sweeties' that she sent me!

Barry loved the Daim Cadbury Dairy Milk bar & So 

did I it was the first thing to be opened and eaten lol.

The Ice Cream Cone sweeties are her favorite and I 

loved them also. I still haven't tried any of the other 

candies yet as this is how busy I have been!

Look at that glitter jelly! I want to make it so badly

but I want to make it when I know I'll have time to eat it!

When I do make it there will be photo's!

This is how I know she's a super beauty blogger!

she sent me soooo many really cool samples of makeup 

and creams! I use the eye shadow pallet daily!

The pink cream in the back has become one of my 

daily rituals and I might have to start sending her money

to send me more when i'm out I love it that much!

'Squeeky Clean, Movie Matte Photo Finish Moisturizer'

 It's really perfect and leaves my skin so soft and oil free!

& It smells like pink grape fruit which is one of my favorites!

I have also tried the 'They're Real! Remover' by benefit.

It's really nice to use, I found it not to greasy on the skin

and it didn't burn or irritate my eyes at all which is a bonus.

benefitcosmetics.com

So anyone who knows me knows that I struggle quite a bit

with the application of false lashes. Doesn't this lovely

gem of a friend send me pre-glued false lashes. Well I have to

say I didn't struggle quite as much with these lashes and I actually

got one side on perfectly! the very first time, the second how ever 

I fail horribly for some reason and I'm honestly starting to think

it's just because that side is my bad eye so i'm more scared of

having things around that eye than the other. But cheers to me

having a little success for once!! GO ME!

The lashes are called Eylure Pre-Glued Lashes

They're really light weight and had no mess of putting 

glue on like other lashes. Really cute and look all natural!

The last thing I've gotten to try from the makeup 

portion of this package is the 

DermaTechSolutions V10 Deep Cleansing Nose Strips

Which I don't know how she knew I wanted to try these but 

I love that she sent them! and They WORK!

I love them and highly recommend them.

This is one of the sweetest little gifts she gave me & I love it!

Just like I love her ♥

& last but not least these 2 things are my absolute 

favorite things in this package. You're probably like what?

why? so the cute little tea pot makes me think of the trip

to the UK i've always dreamed about taking and that's where

Sarah is so this little necklace will always remind me of her.

The little Matryoshka doll makes me think of the Ukraine

which is where part of my family is from, it's also my favorite

color Yellow It makes me remember my grandmother who

I miss very much and wish she was still alive with me today. 

It makes me miss my grandfather who I don't get to see much

since my grandmother passed away he keeps him self busy.

The little things mean the most.

You Should All Follow My Beautiful Bestie Sarah

+BeautyObsessedBlogger 

Her Blog → BeautyObsessedBlogger ← Right Here

Go Follow Like & Share!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 

Love Is All You Need

I know i'm an emotional roller coaster, one minute i'm so happy and

the next I just want everything done with. but honestly who isn't.

I've found a happy place and i'm not going to get rid of it.

Barry is the best man in the whole world. I've made new friends

that I love so much, and even one special one in the UK xx.

I can't wait to receive her penpal package and I can't wait to send

her package from me!

Barry bought me some beautiful flowers (picture above) i love

how pretty they are and that he surprised me with them.

It's just so nice to have that part of my life.

I've been working very hard on my photography and promoting my work.

I really want to build up a good clientele and get some great shots

I love my photographs I put so much work into them and making them

enjoyable for everyone not to love them.

Even Barry enjoyed using my camera and taking a few pointers.

Now he wants to get his own camera to take photo's with me!

I can't wait !

Come check out my page and like and share it with you're friends :)

Thank you!

LuciB.Lawless Photography Page

Vincent

How do you find balance when so many things are 

against you. You tell your self that it's going to be okay

that you have this person and that person there for you

but you're not okay. I tell my self daily to push through

and put a smile on my face, manage the day, laugh a few

times but in the end there are nights I just cry my self to sleep.

I can't even control it. Tonight is one of those nights but it's

seemed to team up with troubling thoughts. 

Sometimes I think I should be alone, that I drag everyone down.

There isn't anyone in my family who wants me around besides 

my dad and even he's always working. I'm the black sheep of the family

It honestly feels like no one cares. Friends, I don't think

I even know what that is. I have so many acquaintances, so many

people who know my name but never say hello, so many people

who have seen me out but never ask how I am or ignore me like

i'm a ghost. I want so badly to not feel so alone, how do I fill this 

void in me. 

I don't understand how I went from being 5 years old and could

make a new friend around every corner to the person I am today.

I hate these feelings, I hate people who tell me that "you just have

to put your mind to it and you can get over it" or "only you can make

it better", how? I clearly don't know because don't you think I

would have if I knew. Did someone not give me the memo to happiness.

I love Barry so much I don't want to see him leave, Thinking about

it hurts so much, but sometimes it hurts to think of him staying with 

me when I feel like i'm a big waste of time. I don't think i'm worth

the effort to have a nice life with, I don't even think you could have

a nice life with me to begin with. I have so many medical issues

and he still stays. He knows it's going to be hard for me to have kids

and he still stays. He knows I have this demon inside my head and 

still he doesn't leave me. Plus a number of other medical problems

that anyone would turn and run the other way from and never look back

but there he is, and still I feel like I could blink and he'll be gone.

I never want to be alone because I know how I think. I know what

I think about. I wish I was better.

This is where I put on my smile, 

lye back down 

and wish for a better anything...

Dear Vincent, I know.

- Brit

2 Years & More

Barry & I celebrated our 2 year anniversary yesterday.

We were going to go to the farmers market in the morning but

decided sleeping in was a special treat. We woke up around 1

and began our day getting dressed up to go out.

We went to the stag shop for some fun shopping and spent

quite a bit of time there lol.

Then we were off to my favorite nail spa Best Nails

Barry got a pedicure (he loved it just didn't like me taking

the photo cause he's a butt) I got my acrylics re-filled and painted.

DINNER!

We got a gift card from our really amazing friends

Shay & Eric I can't say enough good things about them.

But we finally used the gift card they gave us for Moxxies

I was such a great dinner I couldn't believe how good 

everything was. This was my plate It's grilled and dry rubbed

chicken breast with a half wrack of ribs, twice baked potato

and cooked vegetables.

Barry happily got a steak which he says was cooked

to perfection, with caped mushrooms, cooked veggies 

and little potatoes. As you can see he was excited.

He ended up bringing some of it home as it was to much 

food for him to eat but he's been talking about it even today.

We were going to go to the drive in after dinner but

decided that we were to full to stay awake that long.

We ended up coming home and going in our hot tub 

and having some drinks. We finished the night with

Diablo 3 and some R&R.

♥ I Love You BurrBear ♥

Can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

I Miss You

 I feel so bad every time I see your photo.

I have so many regrets.

I wish I cherished your friendship so much more.

I know you know that I loved you in my own way.

I made sure I was by your side when you needed me.

I wish I didn't give up for someone who was worthless.

You were an amazing friend and always there for me.

I suppose I should just love the memories and hold on to 

the good times but I still feel guilty. Like there's no closure.

I'm sorry that when you asked me out I never said yes.

I'm sorry for not standing up for you the last time you needed me.

I wish I spent more time with you, even when I spent weeks with you.

I loved you, I still do, I wish you happiness.

At least I have a photograph of the last smile you gave me.

Thank you for being my best friend.

Even if only for a short part in my life.

♥J.V.♥

Weight Loss Goals

I've been hating on my self lately because I gave up on my weight

loss goals but i'm getting back on track. I'm going to give up pop and I 

have started to work out again. I just did 40 minutes of light treadmill running.

Sweaty me is gross though just saying. I'm not big on being sweaty lol. But I wanted

to show you all my new hair, I mixed 50% Pink (my normal pink) and 50% Purple &
I got this color. I love it, Everyone's been telling me I look very elegant and posh. I
 just want to be Kawaii!! lol New glasses too!! super cute they're white but change
 to a purple in the light.Plus I love that they match my hair. Super cute! Well I
want to get more into loosing weight I have 29 days until Barry's Birthday
 and 31 days until we go to Wonderland for Barry's birthday I would like to be in
better shape than I am now for all the walking we will be doing. Plus I want

funnel cake without feeling guilty. I want so much more from this weight loss but
right now i'm going to set small goals. I'm going to try my hardest to loose at least
15lbs - 20lbs before the15th of August! I'm starting out at 294.2lbs
& Yes I am that heavy, yes I know I don't look it but I am.
I am ashamed of it. I am dealing with it. I am strong and I can do this!

Not Giving Up!

 This is my tracker from MyFitnessPal.com
You can add me as a friend too !
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/profile/lucilawless

Hydradenitis Suppurativia

Well I went to my doctors appointment about 3 days ago now and I've now been diagnosed with Hidradenitis Suppurativa its a hereditary, recurrent, & painful disease in which there is inflammation in the apocrine sweat glands. It causes a blockage in the hair follicles. As the secretions cannot escape, the hair follicles may swell up & burst, or become infected. 

Hidradenitis Suppurativa has also been linked to the bowel condition chron's disease. The treatment I have to take is called Doxycycline is a tetracycline antibiotic that fights bacteria in the body. The side effects are rediculously long. 

But on a good note I got to visit with my sweet little man Corbin. Who is Heathers son. She would be so proud of how big he's gotten. He makes me feel so much better like Heather did. I wish I had more time with her, to do things with her. 

Worth

It's days like today I'm really glad that I have Barry with me.

I don't know how I would deal if I didn't have his love and support.

I'm getting tired of all the backstabbing people in my life who spread

lies and talk behind my back. I'm tired of those people being as close

as family or being family members as well. I don't know who to trust

anymore. It's sad when I have no one to talk to but my own boyfriend.

I have a few friends I can think of that I can trust but I don't want to 

burden them with my problems. Who do you trust now a days.

I like to keep to my self now since Heather's passed away. Even 

my old close friends have changed and are unreliable. I knew when I

had days like today I could call Heather and tell her everything with no

judgement, no pointing, no concern she would tell another. Life was good.

I wish I had that again but people have become so full of them selves, no

concern for others, doing for them selves and not thinking of the consequences.

Some just going down a path that you can't even say anything thing because

it will do no good anyways. They just push you away and continue down

that spiral to nothing good and i'm there at the end waiting, beaten, torn down,

bleeding and yet my arms are open to catch you...you let me fall. 

But Barry is there. That's all that matters. That all I can hope for.

And it's worth it.

JDRF Walk For Diabetes

We did the JDRF walk or diabetes yesterday which went better than I though. It started at 10 and we were done and ready to go by 12:20. I met a few of Barry's co-workers. I had fun pushing Brandy and Daves daughter Abby in her stroller. I would do it again. 

Mallymkun

Warning! Graphic content in this post!

So I got a new addition to my vastly growing sweet little personal collection. 

I've decided to name him Mallymkun. He's a sweet little white mouse around 3 inches not including the tail. He was beautifully preserved by my new friend Jocelyn, who told me he was one of her first wet specimens. He's such a beautiful shade of white & I will love him forever. 

Jocelyn has also been given the task to preserve my very first wet specimen whom I call Sir Lupin The First. If you haven't guessed he's a little bunny (Lupin). His jar was tainted and I'm excited to get him back all fixed up! 

Funny I have a rabbit and a mouse. A rather Alice in wonderland goings on here. What a fitting name for my mouse to have as Mallymkun (the door mouse in Lewis Carols Alice in wonderland). Twinkle Twinkle Little Bat! 

Hillview Haven Estate Bed & Breakfast

 

      We got away finally. Away from everyone and went on our bed and breakfast estate getaway. It was absolutely wonderful and very much needed. So our stay was at a beautiful place about 3 hours away called Hillview Haven Estates. It's on 24 acres of land with horses and a gorgeous view of the lakes and hillsides. They had many rooms that were styled to different countries like England, Africa, France, And a Victorian style room as well for a family to stay in, we booked the cutest one though it was Japan. We had a gorgeous large tub big enough for two right beside our bed that we set up Netflix and soaked for two hours. It was so much fun. 

The dinner the host prepared was a three course meal that I would love to go back for more. We started with a salad that was avocado, apple, and cucumber diced on top of a single leaf of lettuce with his homemade dressing. (to die for) also my first time trying avocado. (not bad at all). Our main was stuffed chicken breast roasted with sliced almonds and mango on top of another home made gourmet sauce with roasted potatoes, asperigus and a stuffed pepper. (also my first time trying asperigus not a big fan of it but not bad also). For desert we had the lightest chocolate cake I've ever had in my life. It was served in a martini glass the order went chocolate cake, layer of ice cream on top, chocolate topping with whipped cream then more chocolate shavings, a cookie wafer and a strawberry on top. (heaven in a martini glass should be the name). We later found out this man used to be a gourmet cook who worked for five star restaurants all over the place.

Barry took me shopping around the area and we went to wonderful attractions in really remote places. We got to see scrap metal made into really cool figures like Bumble Bee and Optimus Prime!

      

      

                                           Yeah we're nerds who get excited about this stuff.

        I found a vintage portrait someone painted and had a good laugh cause it reminded me of Barry looks like his pooping face which is also his might be concentrating probably thinking about bacon face lol. Either way I miss his Moustche! 

      

       This was my new friend were very close as you can tell lol I had a really nice laugh after I thought of all the comments I could just imagine Heather saying about us being a pink threesome lol. 

    Over all it was a really great vacation even though it as only two days away from home. It's was needed and I feel so much closer to Barry and much more in love with him. I have a second heart necklace now two sizes bigger than the last which just reminds me everyday how much larger my love grows for him but the little one to show me where it all started. 

               To end off my blog post here I leave you with this great store find....a penis pig!

     

What Family

I'm sick to my stomach right now. I literally cant take anymore of this 

bullshit family nonsense. Everyone is so vindictive and secretive behind

everyone else back and I hate it. I had two good sets of family members

my cousins Rich and Kitty and my Aunt Colette and Uncle Tim. People I

look up to and now i'm down to 1. What kind of world is this is everyone just

as fucked up with family as I am. All I ever wanted was that big family that when 

I had my own house I could have them come over and have dinners and now I have 

nothing but broken families everywhere. I'm sick of this shit. Everyone's a damn 

mess. I'm being told I can't choose sides I love my niece more than anything I love 

Kitty she's my sister; she's not even like a sister she is my sister. I'm sick to my 

stomach. I honestly cant even look at the people in my family anymore either. 

I feel nothing. I'm doubting everything now. What's the point of having

family if I hate the majority of them. I have like 0 true friends and no one 

talks to me anyways whats the point now, living to do nothing. I lost

my one friend who cared about me and told me she loved me and now 

everything has gone to shit, It's just one things after another.

Maybe it's time to go.

Birthday

It's been a while since my birthday I haven't had time to write.
But it was the best birthday ever.
we started my birthday at Casino Rama, where we got a hotel room,
and we went to the spa (which is a joke there by the way) the girl
was really under educated about anything nail wise which was what my
whole appointment was for, she failed hard core.
But after that nonsense we went to the room and then got ready to go to
dinner and then gambling.

The 27th we went around Orillia and did some window shopping
I found the cutest bear ever! besides Barry of course.

Then we went to RJ & Darquis' place where they ordered
chinese food and bought me a hello kitty DQ cake.
they also surprised me with a gift of the 3rd and 4th
skull duggary plesant books.

the 28th we went to a dart tournament in memory of
one of the guys that passed away that played darts with the
group that we play with. To many drunks for me.

On my actual birthday the 29th; we went to the 400 flee market
and then went to Orillia to the East side marios for dinner with
both my parents and barry's parents. and then we had to go to his parents
house because they had a gift for me there which turned out to be the
most gorgeous hope chest ever. I love it so much.

Needless to say best birthday ever.

Also Barry got me the best gift ever!
Bed and Breakfast stay at a really big estate away from everything <3
I can't wait!

Lol were goobs!

Past Choices

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I recently found some old photo's of my self and others from high school

days and I can't believe how skinny I was. It made me cry honestly because of the

things that people used to say to me about my self back then they just hurt me.

I wish I never listened to those people back then and maybe I wouldn't have 

turned out to be the size I am today.

I've realized how much i've changed my appearance a lot to how

others told me to look when I was younger instead of how I wanted to look.

Like chopping off all my hair. I NEVER wanted to do that, and I was 

pressured into it and I cried so much and now my hair never grows past my collar bone.

I wish I just listened to my dad.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I miss a lot of my old friends too, I've never really felt so lonely some times.

Finding out so many people invite me to things and beg me to come then I hear

that they don't even like me kind of sucks... and they never have a reason.

People are so shallow. I used to make friends with everyone and now people

are so fixated with drama and gossip that they don't care about the truth and 

then they wonder why they have no friends and are sad all the time.

I choose to have little friends because of this.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Shopping Haul

Got my nails done last night with my mum for a late gift.

Found a lot of good things while I was out !

SOHO Naturals Kabuki Brush it provides moderate to full coverage.

It's short handle makes it easy to hold and control as it moves around your

face - perfect brush to use with mineral makeup, loose or pressed powder, or bronzer.

It's a densely packed bristle in a very pretty pink. They're very soft and fluffy.

Material: Nylon Fibers

Handle: Bamboo

sohobeauty.com

I found this cute package of creme sponges. They're really soft

cute and absorbent and come is so many different shapes. My favorite of course

is that really cute teal heart. According to the packaging the creme shop has

been around since 1987 as an established premier beauty supply manufacturer.

It's a Los Angeles made product and the make more than just makeup sponges.

www.thecremeshop.com

I got a few first aid kits Hello Kitty of course. This one is a small 

purse size kit that holds 2 Antiseptic wipes, 2 gauze pads, 4 large bandages & 

4 small bandages, all in a cute tin case.

This one is a 75 piece first aid kit of course again is Hello Kitty.

This kit includes: 1 Anti-itch cream, 1 Pain relief spray, 6 gauze pads,

4 soft gel fever patches, 10 Antiseptic wipes, 15 large bandages, 1 small

rectangular bandage, 10 cotton balls, 1 self adhesive wrap, 1 instant cool pack,

8 get well stickers, & 1 emergency contact card. They all feature hello kitty on the 

packaging in some way.

Sanrio really outdid them selves I can't wait to use them, i'm sure it

wont be long the way myself and Barry are accident prone lol.

I love all my kawaii things I got! 

Things are looking up

 I'm so proud of my life right now I can't wait to

see how things will go for Barry & Myself.

I'm going to be putting my best foot forward into 

loosing as much weight as I can. I know I have a few

friends who can help me get that kick in the ass that I need.

I'm looking into working from home as well, I found it online

at nextworkathome.com it's for brand name companies taking orders

online and placing them for delivery. I'm excited to start learning more

about the company and seeing where it can take me because this is perfect

for my anxiety I wont have to leave my house in a frantic attempt to be on

time for shifts and I get to make my own hours. 

But this is a big step because when I solidify these to things then

we are going to start thinking about having kids in the next year or two.

If my weight is managed then there wont be as many complications 

with my health if I have a baby. I've got the baby fever i'm not afraid to 

admit it. It's hitting me harder than I thought it would.

Saint Valentine ♥

I had the most wonderful Valentines Day.

Barry had to work the majority of the day until 8pm.

I started my day getting ready for a movie date with Marjorie.

We saw 50 Shades of Grey.

I now wish to own the books so I will be looking into acquiring those.

I got home for 6:30pm so I didn't have long to wait for Barry

to be off to begin our Valentines.

We ordered in 241 pizza and ate at 8:15pm

after we exchanged gifts.

Barry got my Munchkin Avdenture Time Eddition!

I can't wait to play it!

Then he gave me a Red Velvet box with a hand written note folded inside.

Then he allowed me to open my card which he had lovingly placed a beautiful

10 carrot white gold heart shaped pendant with necklace.

It's gorgeous and I couldn't be happier.

After that he opened my gift to him and he loved it!

I wont go into details as to what happened next but It was a success.

♥I Love You Barry Clifford Leavoy♥