The end of 2020

 

A lot of new things have happened in my life and it's interesting how much I have grown from all these experiences. Oddly enough I found out that someone I thought was by my side through thick and thin betrayed me in one of the worst ways possible, not one ounce of admittance to it and dodged every accusation even with proof. I gave up that fight for it was a long time ago that it happened and I had many happy memories with them since then that I felt were admirable though it opened my eyes to potential deception from there on. My hubby felt another way about the matter all together but at the same time he doesn't tell me what to do just what his views on the matter were and how he would handle it which I love about him dearly and he was right in the end anyways which shows he's a good judge of character and how I deserve better for myself. 

Well either way it worked it's self out as much of my life does. My car ended up breaking down in the end of November which was disheartening but not the end of the world, i'm glad no one got hurt just moderately inconvenienced. Well not to go into to much detail events happened that put my bank account that I opened for a friend into a holding state, this brought out some behaviour that really opened my eyes and I've come to terms that it wont go back to being that same after the way I've been treated through this endeavour. But through all this I've put stress on my boyfriend and that's not alright with what he has to go through everyday where he is, I should be better and therefor I will. This man has lifted my spirits at their lowest points, brought me back to reality when I have lost hope, encouraged me to do better for myself and shown me that i'm worth more than I myself even think. I should do the same for him and I have been selfish. No more will I let that continue so I've made a vow to myself to be better, do better and never give up. I'm going to work on my children book, i'm going to get a career with accountability, I will have order to this chaos and create a better environment for growth. Everything is going to be alright.